Time for a new decade 2.0 x 2

I do forget my blog on purpose. Really. And the purpose in majority of the cases is... Netfix.
However, one thing that I enjoy the most about this blog is getting to my stories from at least half year ago and reflecting on what I thought and said back then.

I re-read the You only grow, when you let go once more. It still hurts, but yes, it's much better and yes, time is the best antidote to the grief. It builds you, it shapes you, it makes you who you are. There was a read that helped me a lot, Max Porter's Grief is the Thing with Feathers. The situation described in the book is entirely different to mine, yet the emptiness, the sadness and, finally, the healing and break through to the light are very relatable. This is how I imagine them, happy in the eternal light, finally together and with their loved ones who we never met. And for us, here, is the joy of life, a colourful painting full of peace and calmness for those who seek it.

That's what I've dedicated my 2020-ies which will also mark my 30-ies just in a few months. Finding a balance that I'm happy with. And after going for a first 2020 short outside run this morning, I can say yes, I think I'm happiest and fullest I've ever been (me spitting three times through my shoulder to keep off the back luck, old Lithuanian thing to do, you know, us pagans...).

First of all, despite the fact you are really good looking man (to me!), amazing cook and we often go to see some pretty good theatre, the moments when you and me just sit in silence (God help two Client Services people in the same house...), after a hell of a long day, is the best thing in the world.

Second, it's 5 years in UK! I've been in London longer than in Vilnius and that scares me a bit. But hey, now I can allow myself to get back, yes? Not in the next 2.5 years, babe, and let me explain you why.

Third, basically, I always wanted to study, it's just a thing I like to do. It was a hard-breaking choice to quit my master studies in Lithuania and move with my beloved man to UK. In the end it proved to be just the right thing for me, for him and for us as a couple. I still call it one of the best choices of my life. Leaving everything from studies, family to my baking trays and orchids (can't remember what else I had there...)
But here we go, I'm a student once more! It's a hell hard thing to do after 5 years academic break and working full time in the field where many people just can't keep up. And yet... A philologist in BA and, most importantly, in heart, now is a student in the faculty of Technology. I don't promise to get my masters there. But I do enjoy it now, it is a piece of the puzzle that I was missing for a long time and it makes me feel good.

So I made 'My little list of happiness for 2020', which I would like to re-read each time I'm getting pissed off  (apologies, I know, I know...) because of someone, something or myself, which also happens:

1. Husband. Proud to call him so, the burden is very pleasant, I would say.
2. My extended family. God save the family with a teenager and 3 dogs, but it's a blessing too.
3. My friends. Everywhere, would it be UK, Poland or Lithuania. I'm grateful for having many different personalities around me who are supportive (well, majority of the times!) and caring.
4. Lithuania. Mum's Christmas gift of woolen socks from my hometown Pasvalys Museum went right through my heart and onto my feet. In general, I feel the most Lithuanian I ever been.
5. Studies. Even if I have no clue in Technology, I'm trained in storytelling. I think my tutor got it already...
6. Company I work in. People voted me to be in the top 4 Star employees second time. I don't feel I do anything special, I just think they're greatest people I've ever worked with!
7. Moving my ass. Let's be honest, there was too much 'potating' involved during Christmas time as well as through the 2019. Sport for the spirit!
8. Place I live. London, Wapping, our apartment, sofa... my 10 plants in one room.
9. Food. I have my personal Domie Ramzi at home, what else can I want?
10. Audible! Oh my goodness, the concept of an audiobook changed my life. Let me not start on it, it needs a separate post with a love letter to Stephen Fry's voice.
10.5?  My... wardrobe? Or... Blog? Well, I can't think of anything else and I still like to write. Even if ears down deep in English, I'm joining the group of sad byelinguals.


Make your own little list of happiness. Re-read it. It works.

Labanakt,
Juste


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